Italian Adventures – We Bought a House in Italy!

Before I arrived in Italy to turn our newly purchased house into our home, I did enough research to know not to expect too much with respect to getting things done. Said more simply, if you have 4 things on your list and you accomplish 1 thing, it’s a good day. If the store says it opens at 10am and you arrive at 10:05 to closed doors, go next door to the local bar and have a cappucino and cornetto until the shop keeper arrives. Much like Hawaii, store hours are more of a suggestion than a strict rule.

Keep in mind that getting things accomplished generally relates to tasks being completed outside of your control. So if I intend to mow the 4 sections of the garden in one day, I have total control of that, assuming I have enough gas and the mower doesn’t break down.

But let’s say I need to buy an Italian SIM card for my phone, sign up for WiFi for the house, get some keys made and do some grocery shopping, I would be lucky to accomplish one of these things…two would be Amazing!!!

What I have learned over time is that even the things within your control can change. For example, I have weed wacked two sections of the garden and mowed the upper terrace garden, which is a great start. But then a neighbor swings by and you stop to chat and catch up. You embrace these moments and don’t worry about your task list. This is the Italian way. This is living La Dolce Vita.

I have learned to love these moments. There is always tomorrow or the next day to get your chores done, assuming you are not time constrained with weather and departure dates.

Similar to life in the Pacific Northwest, when the moment presents itself, you take it. If the sun comes out in Seattle, you immediately change your plans to do something outside. Similarly, if you are in Italy, specifically Umbria, and you need 3 consecutive clear days to do the olive harvest, you drop all plans if that window presents itself. I LOVE this!

Life is short and relationships matter. This is true whether you are a homebody or world traveler. It’s important to make connections with people. When in Italy and you walk into a bar (coffee shop+), don’t lead with an order. Lead with a Buongiorno, Salve or a simple hello. Be polite. If you are a traveler or even a new home owner, I highly encourage you to learn what I call ‘traveler’s Italian’. Learn to say hello, I would like (not I want), please, thank you, excuse me, at least as a start. Be polite and show respect to whoever you are interacting with.

I am always shocked by the number of Americans that travel to Italy, or even move here, and expect things to be like what they had back in America. Isn’t there a reason you came to explore or live in Italy??? Learn to embrace their culture and don’t impose your American expectations on them.

Italians are a loving, family-oriented people who cherish a long lunch, a gathering outside or passeggiata before dinner. Sunday lunch is a BIG affair, with everyone gathering around the table, sharing stories, love and laughter. If you are a single person, out exploring for the day and stop into a local ristorante for lunch, do not expect a table. Even though you are only one, they have tables reserved for couples and families of all sizes. I have learned to embrace this. When I want a table, I know to call in advance and reserve a table. Otherwise, I enjoy pranzo on my upper terrace in the garden!

It is true, the bureacracy in Italy is brutal and relentless. But embrace it. Accept it. You have no choice or it will drive you crazy. The good news is that Covid-19 brought many functions online in Italy, making it far easier to pay utility bills, water, etc. But many things still require Permesso, documentation, in person meetings, and more. You can’t get around this so understand the process and make it work. Learn that there are SO many things you can accomplish at the local Post office. This will work in your favor in the long run and you will meet more locals along the way who are willing to help you.

And yes, it’s true that you need the Comune’s permesso (the town council’s approval), to do many things. If a tree is native, you can’t just cut it down because it’s blocking your view or creating too much shade in your garden. Similary, just because you own the house, you can’t just open up a wall or add a new window, at least not legally. Hire a good, local Geometra and do things the right way. It will absolutely take longer but you will be better off in the long run.

I could go on but I won’t. I encourage you to do some research, embrace the local culture and take a leap outside of your comfort zone. The Italian world is a wonderful place, despite some of its challenges, but it’s worth getting to know with an open mind.